When Your Friend Becomes Your Client

Let’s talk about something that every Creative Business Owner has wrestled with at some point- doing business with friends.

Offering your service to friends can be meaningful, but it can also be messy.

• Maybe a friend asks for a “hook-up.”
• Maybe you offer your product or service at a discount, because that just feels like the right things to do.
• Or maybe you bend your usual process and make special concessions, only to end up feeling a little resentful, taken advantage or or underpaid.

Here’s the hard truth:

When you blur the lines between business and friendship, you blur your boundaries.

Unclear boundaries create unclear expectations, which almost always lead to disappointment for one (or both) of you.

So what’s the solution?

Try these four tips to protect your relationships and your business.

1. Create an objective policy, proactively.

• Set your “friends & family” policy in advance, not in the excitement of the moment.
• Will you offer a discount? How much or none at all?
• Make the decision when your emotions aren’t involved, from a place of clarity and objectivity.

For example, in my side hustle, Hers & Mine Vintage and Goods, my sister is my BIGGEST fan! I felt compelled to give all my goods away for free, because I LOVE my sister and she LOVES our goods. She continued telling me she expects to pay, however it was me who continued saying, "No, I can't charge you. She'd pay me in other ways- trading her favorite dermatology products for my goods. (She's a NP at a dermatologist office)

After a few months, I realized, I was getting in my own way, and knew she'd respect a policy around friends and family purchases. So, I implemented a 50% off discount for family (I objectively define this by "we share blood," b/c I've got loads of friends who are like family) and 20% off for friends (objectively defined by "we do not share blood"). My new policy was well-received by everyone, and I was able to communicate it with confidence, thanks to lessons learned by not having a policy and basing my policy on an objective measure.

2. Commit to following your policy consistently.

• If you’re making an exception for one friend, but not another, it can get messy.
• Uphold your policy and pricing consistently.
• Consistency protects your integrity and your relationships.

This can be a hard one, because can emotions cloud your ability to continue making objective decisions.

If you find yourself making expectations or rationalizing-away your policy, take a pause and step back from the situation. Remind yourself WHY you created the policy in the first place, and re-anchor objective thinking to find confidence in your policy again.

3. Offer value instead of a discount.

• Want to gift something without discounting your worth?
• Throw in a little BONUS for your friends and family!
• Add value without undercutting your own bottom line.

When I owned my floral design company, I used this strategy A LOT. At one point, I delegated meeting with Clients in consultations, so I could step into a true CEO position. However, when a previous Client (typically a second daughter) or close friend scheduled a consultation, I would prioritize being in those first meetings, so long as my schedule allowed. For close friends, I always offered the bridal bouquet gratis, as a gift. While I did have to pay for those flowers (i.e. lost revenue), it was one single line item on a full event proposal (i.e. no big impact on my bottom line). And that gesture meant the world to the recipient.

In your business, you might include an extended number of consultations, throw-in an upgrade or add a personalized touch that feels generous, without cutting into your margins. These small gestures can enhance the client experience and deepen your relationships, especially when working with friends.

4. Communicate with clarity and confidence.

• You can say the hard thing in a way that is well-received.
• Imagine how you would like to hear your own friend communicate their policy and boundaries around working with friends.
• Write a script. Practice delivering it in front of the mirror.
• When the time comes, share your policy clearly and confidently.

Good friends will understand AND respect that you have a policy. If anyone challenges you or attempts to negotiate, see this as a reflection of them, not you.

Stand firm, repeat your policy and here's a great trick- STOP TALKING.

Let your repeated policy sink in, while the other person processes (oftentimes- verbally). When you stop talking, nod and listen, they'll realize you're not budging. If needed, repeat your policy again (some people need to hear it a few times) or simply say, "Let's be honest with each other. If my services under these terms doesn't work for you, do you want me to suggest someone else who can help? I'm not for everyone, and sometimes, that includes friends."

If/when (because it will happen), you find yourself working with friends, try these four steps. You can even print this blog article as a reminder to stay confident, because...

• You don’t need to apologize for treating your business like a business.
• Your work has value, and your time has value.
• Your experience, skill and creative energy ALL have value.
• Your friends love, care and respect you, more than you realize.

The bottom line is- creating a clear policy for working with friends takes the guesswork and the awkwardness out of the experience.

It sets respectful expectations from the start, protects your business boundaries and helps preserve the relationship. 

With an objective policy in place, working with friends can feel smooth, easy and genuinely enjoyable for everyone involved!

P.S. Sharing a photo of me and my close friend, Amanda. She's the very first person I hired to help me in my floral design and event production company. She became the BEST right hand woman a business owner could ask for and remains one of my closest friends! Working with her on her own wedding flowers was such a joy- and her designs remain an all-time favorite!